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At one event I had to provide a photo in advance so facial recognition cameras would automatically swing open the gates upon my arrival. But when I got there I was told they didn’t work with foreign faces

I complained to the security guards about the expanding waste dump – in between going round and trying to pick up discarded plastic and glass, scared my dogs would tread on it. But they are too busy recycling

Perhaps he fed my ego, a powerful wild dog with a powerful wild man. Fear. Respect. A house people dare not enter. I called him Cupcake, thinking it would make me seem more sympathetic in case of a lawsuit

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The hardest part is that we suddenly have to stop wearing flattering, bulky winter clothes. For people who have spent months in a freezing metropolis in which something called an “oil stick” is an acceptable breakfast option and grilled lamb fat on a skewer is a popular dinner, this can lead to some insecurity

It was bad enough that her daughter was marrying a professional banjo player who did not own his own apartment or car. It was untenable that her daughter was living without a refrigerator

A middle-aged police officer decided not to wait for high-tech equipment, like a safe ladder, and scrambled up in his loafers, followed by a firefighter. “Nothing here,” they exclaimed. It was pretty embarrassing.