Old Version
Essay

“I will take you to an audition at the ‘secret place,’ and you will become China’s new superstar,” the White Fox said. She phoned a man called Big Wu and it was done – I got the audition that would change my life, or at least that’s what she told me.

A low groan followed by a flurry of expletives sent me darting into the bedroom from the kitchen. “We have to move house,” my wife said, her head in her hands.

Working for a Chinese company provides just as rich a seam of unexpected experiences as any other aspect of life here.

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I have been engaged in a standoff with some partying young people who live in my residential compound for over a year.

Spring finally arrived in Beijing after the generation-long winter the capital endures, in which people are born, get married and vegetate into middle age in the months between the last warm autumn day and the first warm day of spring.

My new exercise program has helped me lose weight, made me irresistible to women, improved my relationship with my fiancée, and gets me out of the house twice a day, rain or shine. I call it the “Walk The Alaskan Malamute Or It Will Destroy The House” program.